A few weeks ago, after much internal debate about wasted time, I went down kicking and screaming. I made a Pinterest account. Then, of course as soon as I’d made the account, I got distracted and forgot all about it.
Then, a strange thing happened. I got email notifications that really cool and wonderful people were “following me.” I got more and more of these notifications. Good grief. There was nothing to follow. I didn’t know it, but Pinterest had kindly given me a few generic boards: My Style, Books Worth Reading, and so on. It looked to the casual observer that I had NO style and didn’t think ANY books were worth reading. I didn’t have a single pin! What had I gotten myself into? I needed to fix this. So I put aside the math that needed grading, and the thank you notes that needed writing, and I got my laptop. And since I multitask, I turned on the TV. We record some shows. I watch a few. Modern Family (don’t judge), The Daily Show (Jon, call me), The Pioneer Woman’s cooking show . . .
While navigating the wild and endless world that is Pinterest (did you know you can take regular wine glasses, turn them upside down over colorful flowers, put candles on top, and voila! you have a centerpiece!), I watched a taped episode of the Pioneer Woman’s cooking show.
I was discovering all kinds of crafts I’d never get around to, and all sorts of cute hair styles that would never work with my hair. I was also watching Ree (I met her – we’re on a first-name basis) make a delicious and hearty breakfast. (It didn’t look to me like she’d just woken up! That’s not what I look like at breakfast time.) She topped off her creation with berry-butter that she’d whipped up weeks ahead so she’d have it on hand . . . and I slowly sunk into the abyss of inferiority. I thought I was a good cook. I thought I had some creative ideas. I didn’t have two gourmet kitchens. I hadn’t made a hearty breakfast for my children that morning (or the morning before). My Christmas cards were late . . . I was shriveling. I was a small and crestfallen me.
The Pioneer Woman wrapped up her show and I was getting tired of scrolling down. Forever scrolling down. I was going to need Pinterest recovery therapy.
The kids begged to watch a taped episode of Alaska: the Last Frontier. I knew about the show, I’d been around when it was on before, but I’d never watched it. Sure, why not; I was just sitting there wallowing in despair.
The show began. Those people don’t have running water! Not because the water heater was temporarily broken . . . no hot water! (They live in ALASKA!) They eat preserved salmon EVERY night. Suddenly, I felt like I might be a pretty good cook. There was no mention of crafts. Just SURVIVAL. To go potty, those crazy amazing folks go out in the freezing cold, taking the seat – which resides behind the wood burning stove – with them (because brrrr). Who needs two gourmet kitchens? Just give me indoor plumbing.
I was feeling better.
Everything is relative. (Too bad Einstein beat me to it; I could be famous!)