Oct 242012
 

I received this little piece, and by little I mean it was in bold and

48 point font.

(This previous sentence should serve as notice that I plan to get a little *haha* sarcastic. Also, for some reason the largest font my blog allows is 24 point, so imagine that twice as big.)  I shrunk the original down and got rid of some of the ridiculous spaces between the lines, but I left the capitalization and punctuation errors for your enjoyment. With all that creative grammar and usage, does the anonymous author think she is writing poetry?

This isn’t the first time this has been sent to me. I get it about every four or five months. Yay for me. I suffer from a bit of a skeptical, cynical, sarcastic bent, and it’s kind of fun to let that side of me run with wild abandon through fields of distortion, inaccuracy, hypocrisy, and misrepresentation. Want to join me?

I’m going to interject myself here and there so you don’t have to scroll up and down to keep up with me. I’ll be the one in red. Here goes —

___________

Born 1930 – 1979

I’m “lucky” enough to have been born within the window of greatness. Yay me! 

You definitely need to read the statement by Jay. Oh so true.
Scroll  down Those of You Born 1930 – 1979 At the end of this Email is a quote of the month by Jay Leno.. If you don’t read anything else, PleaseRead what he Said. Very well stated,   Mr. Leno.

All of a sudden Jay Leno is Confucius or George Washington? 

TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED THE  1930’s, 40’s, 50’s, 60’s and 70’s!

First, we survived being born to mothers Who smoked and/or drank while they were Pregnant. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, Tuna from a can and didn’t get tested for diabetes.

Later on the author laments over all the government regulation in our lives; it appears the author is unaware that smoking, drinking, eating blue cheese, and taking aspirin during pregnancy was not and currently is not illegal. It’s just that smoking, drinking, and taking medicine that has proven harmful to babies is really, really, stupid. If it is your desire to play Russian Roulette with your offspring, so be it . . . poor offspring. I’d argue that if you find it difficult to go without something like blue cheese for nine months, you’re in for a real treat for the next eighteen (plus) years. 

Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-base paints.

Now all the poor unfortunates born after 1979 are told that those of us who were smart enough to be born before them were not only privileged to be poisoned in utero, but yet again as infants. Yes! Be jealous, very jealous — we got to chew on lead based paint. 

But wait . . . 

Doesn’t lead based paint kill children? Or if it doesn’t kill the innocent little one, doesn’t it cause brain damage, seizures, or comas? Oh pish posh, that’s no reason to come up with an alternative. Let’s just stick with it, because changing from lead based paint to non lead based paint is so intrusive, and after all, not all of us died from it. 

I have an idea . . . 

I advocate that the author chew on a lead based paint chip while sharing this tidbit of nostalgia with the mother of a child whose poisoned body lies in a cold grave. 

Historian Christian Warren points out that, “During the twentieth century, lead poisoning killed thousands of workers and children in the United States. Thousands who survived lead poisoning were left physically crippled or were robbed of mental faculties and years of life.” Is this really the hallmark sentiment you want on your banner?

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, Locks on doors or cabinets and when we rode Our bikes, we had baseball caps not helmets on our heads.

As infants & children, We would ride in cars with no car seats, No booster seats, no seat belts, no air bags, bald tires and sometimes no brakes. Riding in the back of a pick-up truck on a warm  day Was always a special treat.

It’s such a shame that we now subject our children to the injustices of car seats and seat belts! Really! These children subjected to all that strapping in and seat belting will end up deranged, lazy, resentful, and ALIVE!!! Worry not — there’s therapy for all of that. 

Ditto that part above about reminiscing about these things with a mother who’s had to . . . bla . . . bla . . . brain damage . . .  bla . . . bla . . . death . . . 

We drank water From the garden hose and not from a bottle. We shared one soft drink with four friends, From one bottle and no one actually died from this. We ate cupcakes, white bread, real butter and bacon.. We drank Kool-Aid made with real white sugar. And, we weren’t overweight. WHY?

WHY? Good question. I do wish the author had expounded on why all those skinny kids born between 1930 and 1979 are now riding the highest wave on all the overweight and obesity charts? According to the National Institutes of Health, referencing the Journal of the American Medical Association, over two-thirds of U.S. adults are overweight or obese. 

Because we were Always outside playing…that’s why!  We would leave home in the morning and play all day, As long as we were back when the Streetlights came on.   

I guess we didn’t need to go to school or do any schoolwork at all. We were like superheroes.

No one was able To reach us all day. And, we were O.K.  We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps And then ride them down the hill, only to find out We forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.

I’m so confused. Should we fix the brakes, or not? Anyway, it’s a good thing we learned to solve the brake problem; it’s too bad the adults driving us around didn’t have the sense to get the brakes checked or tires rotated. (Remember a few lines up — along with “no booster seats, no seat belts, no air bags, the cars had bald tires and sometimes no brakes.”)  

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo’s and X-boxes. There were no video games, no 150 channels on cable, No video movies or DVD’s, no surround-sound or CD’s, No cell phones, No personal computers, no Internet and no chat rooms.   WE HAD FRIENDS
And we went outside and found them! We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth And there were no lawsuits from these accidents. We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, And the worms did not live in us Forever. We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, (I got my son a BB gun for his 8th birthday. Do I get extra points for that?) Made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, Although we were told it would happen, We did not put out  very many eyes. We rode bikes or walked to a friend’s house and Knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just Walked in and talked to them. Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn’t had to learn to deal With disappointment. Imagine that!!

Things are no different now. Children play outside, they have friends, they create things out of sticks, eat dirt, break bones, and I’d argue that sports are even more competitive and cut throat, so . . . whatever! 

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law Was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!

These generations have produced some of the best Risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever.

Yes, the folks born between 1930 and 1979 were some of the best inventors! They invented video games, lap tops, cable television, the internet, cell phones, infant car seats, and airbags. 

The past 50 years Have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.  We  had freedom, (I’m not sure Rosa Parks would agree) failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all.

If YOU are one of them?
CONGRATULATIONS!
You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives for our own good . While you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will (have a good dose of guilt for all the caring and concern they heap all over their offspring) know how brave and lucky their parents were. (Because it’s so brave to chew on lead based paints? I believe there was a lot of bravery in those years, but the author doesn’t bring up anything truly brave!) Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn’t it ?

No. It kind of makes me want to rant in a blog post. 

The quote of the month is by Jay Leno:
“With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with  the threat of swine flu and terrorist attacks. Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?’

I’m not sure this “quote of the month” has anything to do with drinking and smoking while pregnant, or not wearing a seat belt, or being born in the years between 1930 – 1979. The author of the e-mail would have you believe that as a result of saying the Pledge of Allegiance with the word God in it (just like we do today!) we were all healthy, crime and violence were nonexistent, and it was sunny and 75 degrees from 1930 to 1979, right? The only problem with this implication is that for exactly half of those years (1930 –  1954) the phrase “under God” wasn’t even a part of the Pledge of Allegiance! The phrase “under God” wasn’t added to the Pledge until June 14, 1954. Sigh. 

For those that prefer to think that God is not watching over us.. ..go ahead and delete this. For the rest of us…pass this on.

A Small Prayer!

God determines who walks into your life….it’s up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.

I need this back. If you’ll do this for me, I’ll do it for you.

“I need this back”? Really? You’ve already read it! You don’t get enough mail in your inbox? 

When there is nothing left but God, that is when you find out that God is all you need. Take 60 seconds and give this a shot! All you do is simply say the following small prayer for the person who sent you this.

Father,
God bless my friend in whatever it is that You know they may need this day!
And may their life be full of your peace, prosperity, and power
as he/she seeks to have a closer relationship with you.
Amen.

Fine. Prayer is good. 

Then send it on to five other people, including the one who sent it to you Within hours you will have caused a multitude of people to pray for other people. Then sit back and watch the power of God work in your life.

P. S… Five is good, but more is better.

IN GOD WE TRUST

Seriously! When I read an e-mail like this one, with a random prayer stuck at the end like this, and THEN an exhortation to send it to five (or more!) friends, I die a little on the inside. (But at least it didn’t promise me that if I forward it to five friends I’ll be blessed with a large sum of money in the next two weeks.)

___________

Wasn’t that fun?

All my sarcasm aside, the sentiment is that it was so much better “back then,” that all things have deteriorated since “then,” and if you are from “the good old days” you should eternally pat each other on the back and continually remind those who aren’t from “back then” how, based solely on their birth year they will never measure up. The truth is every generation has heroes and villains, accomplishments and failures.

I enjoy  studying the past, reminiscing with peers, and sharing stories with younger folks. There is a difference though. The difference is that I love the past not because I was exposed to nicotine and alcohol in utero, inhaled eighteen years of secondhand smoke, and not because my teeth were ruined as a result of a dose of penicillin, which we now know was much too large (to treat Scarlet Fever that I probably caught from sharing a soda with four other friends).

I love the past and those individuals from the past who worked to make things better and safer for all of us, and I celebrate them! I also know that this day, today, is not perfect. There is so much we don’t know that we don’t know. We have so many things to make better and safer. But when I see the young people who surround me I want you to know that I look forward to tomorrow!

Instead of forwarding that e-mail to my kids, I have a different message for them.

To my  dear children (and their friends): 

When you hear or read the message that things were better “back then,” or that your generation is somehow flawed, I want you to remember something. I want you to remember that you are not the product of a generation. I want you to remember that you are an individual who is fearfully and wonderfully made. I want you to know that you are better than I ever was, am, or will be. I want you to wake up every day with a sense of gratitude for this time. I want you to recognize and appreciate the blessing of being in the world RIGHT NOW.

Love, Mom

I think I’ll go plug my laptop in to charge, but first, I’ll check my favorite social media site to see what the young people are up to, then check my phone for texts and Instagram pictures, and perhaps I’ll give the kids a rare weekday turn on the Xbox —  just because I feel like celebrating the times!

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