Loem

A list or a poem or possibly both A loem a nonexistent word that seems perfect to describe this moment acoustically and ethereally it brings to mind a mixture that drains well but holds nutrients --- I returned from visiting my baby and in the refrigerator there was moldy leftover rice a soggy liquified cucumber…

Joy. Ride.

About seventeen months ago, I stood in my garage looking up at my bike. It hung from the ceiling on a hook Ken had installed. His bike was hanging next to mine. A police officer had returned his bike at some point. My memory of the timing is fuzzy. Was it that night, that horrible…

Notifications from heaven?

I went to a group for widows a while back, and a woman shared that she was angry that her husband hadn't sent her any white feathers. Send? White feathers? She said each of their family members and mutual friends had received a white feather from her deceased husband, but she had never gotten one.…

Do Things

On New Year’s Eve, I thought about the many resolutions I’d made in the past either to do something extra or to give something up. I know, New Year’s Eve was almost four months ago, but time both slogs on and slips by, so here I am, still thinking about my New Year's resolution. In…

Tomorrow

All month I’ve been thinking about what I was doing a year ago. Today is especially sobering. Last year on this day, I had no idea what tomorrow would bring. I thought, like every day that came before it, that I knew what my tomorrow would look like. This life on earth is fragile, and…

I’m fine

I haven't been able to write. My whole life is so different, and one of the many ways it’s different is that words just don't seem to work anymore. I type words, read them, and delete them; this goes on and on because words don't mean what they used to. I'll sit down to write…

Breathe in. Breathe out.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. At about sixteen breaths per minute, I estimate that I’ve taken somewhere around seven million breaths since that day. Today is the eleventh. It’s been ten months. Ten months. How? Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Our anniversary. Breathe out. My birthday. Breathe in. Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s Eve,…

This Scream Can’t Escape

I used to drink a ton of coffee, but in January, for health reasons, I switched to herbal tea. One morning, about a week and a half after I’d stopped drinking coffee, he said he didn’t like drinking coffee without his coffee-drinking partner, so he, too, switched to herbal tea. He became a tea connoisseur.…