Saturday

Saturday marked one month after your death. It was appropriately sandwiched between Good Friday and Easter.  I feel like the rest of my life will be a Saturday between Good Friday and Easter.

Frustration. Defeat. Repeat.

So many things need to be decided. I wish you were here to help me. I need answers to questions I never dreamed I’d ask. You’d figure it all out if you were here. You’d make the calls if you were here.  If you were here… • I’m not sure if it’s the global pandemic…

I got upset with her this morning

I got upset with her this morning. She handled it well, but I ended up feeling like a horrible mom. It’s the fear again. It creeps in to every little thing.  Why does grief feel so much like fear? Terror, really.  She missed two full weeks of school, so she’s behind. Her on-line tutors are…

I woke up really early

I woke up really early; I sat on the couch and stared out the window; I must have fallen back to sleep. I dreamed about you. I dreamed that I was on the sidelines of a soccer game. Madeline had just run over to give me her earrings, which is weird because the holes in…

A snapshot of joy

As I ran, storms threatened and the sky darkened. I kept my worried eyes trained on the greying sky. The clouds pressed down and made me feel hurried and agitated. At the halfway point, I turned around. I remember a “WOW!” escaping as I exhaled. The blue of the sky caught me by surprise. Fluffy…

The pre-service tip. Thoughts.

Ack. I’m feeling a little salty. Maybe you guys can help me. There’s this newish thing, and I just don’t get it. You may have had this experience, if not, imagine with me: You go into a fast food restaurant, and after standing in line behind a couple families, you make your way to the…