I got upset with her this morning

I got upset with her this morning. She handled it well, but I ended up feeling like a horrible mom. It’s the fear again. It creeps in to every little thing.  Why does grief feel so much like fear? Terror, really.  She missed two full weeks of school, so she’s behind. Her on-line tutors are…

I’m overwhelmed by so much these days

I’m overwhelmed by so much these days, mostly by how much I miss you. I can’t see an end to this sadness.  Honestly, I don’t even want an end to this feeling. It’s all I am capable of feeling right now, and thinking about feeling different in the future means looking into a future without…

I woke up really early

I woke up really early; I sat on the couch and stared out the window; I must have fallen back to sleep. I dreamed about you. I dreamed that I was on the sidelines of a soccer game. Madeline had just run over to give me her earrings which is weird because the holes in…

for·ti·tude (Originally posted February 2011)

“Let’s get going. Today we’ll be learning about fortitude; get your dictionaries out.” “Sammy, please stop doodling, and pay attention. No, it’s not about making everything into the number four! No, “F” comes before “G” in the alphabet.” “Mom, I have to go to the bathroom; I’ll be right back.” “Didn’t you just go to…

A snapshot of joy

As I ran, storms threatened and the sky darkened. I kept my worried eyes trained on the greying sky. The clouds pressed down and made me feel hurried and agitated. At the halfway point, I turned around. I remember a “WOW!” escaping as I exhaled. The blue of the sky caught me by surprise. Fluffy…

The pre-service tip. Thoughts.

Ack. I’m feeling a little salty. Maybe you guys can help me. There’s this newish thing, and I just don’t get it. You may have had this experience, if not, imagine with me: You go into a fast food restaurant, and after standing in line behind a couple families, you make your way to the…