Often in the last two years, someone will say something about a person dying or something related to an untimely death and then stop suddenly and apologize for saying THAT THING. It happened the day before yesterday and again yesterday. I think people apologize because they believe they might have triggered memories by using the…
Something
Something struck me a few weeks ago. It was Ken’s birthday, a day that, in the past, I would have planned and prepared a delicious meal that would have made him feel special. A meal that I wouldn't normally make on a random Wednesday night. A meal that would be all about him. This is…
Eyes to See, Ears to Hear. (More notifications from Heaven)
The other evening, I went for a hike and found white feathers. A lot of them. For a year and a half now, I've been finding white feathers everywhere I go. Here are the feathers I found on Thursday. I find white feathers pretty much every time I take my lunch-break walks. I found one…
Loem
A list or a poem or possibly both A loem a nonexistent word that seems perfect to describe this moment acoustically and ethereally it brings to mind a mixture that drains well but holds nutrients --- I returned from visiting my baby and in the refrigerator there was moldy leftover rice a soggy liquified cucumber…
Would you like to continue on this bumpy ride with me?
FeedBurner, a service that, up until this month, managed a portion of my email subscriptions, sent a notification stating that it will no longer handle email subscriptions as part of its services. In the recent email they sent, the FeedBurner folks said things like, "we recommend downloading your email subscribers so that you can migrate…
Notifications from heaven?
I went to a group for widows a while back, and a woman shared that she was angry that her husband hadn't sent her any white feathers. Send? White feathers? She said each of their family members and mutual friends had received a white feather from her deceased husband, but she had never gotten one.…
Breathe in. Breathe out.
Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. At about sixteen breaths per minute, I estimate that I’ve taken somewhere around seven million breaths since that day. Today is the eleventh. It’s been ten months. Ten months. How? Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Our anniversary. Breathe out. My birthday. Breathe in. Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s Eve,…
Fragmented
As I lay my newborn grandson down on the changing table, I’m overwhelmed with gratitude to God for his perfect features, his soft newborn skin, and his incredible newborn smell, and the next second tears are flowing because I can’t share this joy with the love of my life, so I’m crying out to God that…
Saturday
Saturday marked one month after your death. It was appropriately sandwiched between Good Friday and Easter. I feel like the rest of my life will be a Saturday between Good Friday and Easter.
The Schedule Olympiad
One day after successfully executing a complicated scheduling maneuver involving multiple families, siblings, transportation, food, tests, equipment, you name it… my friend looked me in my exhausted eyes and said, “you know, if they awarded medals to moms for scheduling, we’d have just earned gold!” That’s when the idea was born: competitive scheduling. We could…
Dirt Road Diary 