Loem

A list or a poem or possibly both A loem a nonexistent word that seems perfect to describe this moment acoustically and ethereally it brings to mind a mixture that drains well but holds nutrients --- I returned from visiting my baby and in the refrigerator there was moldy leftover rice a soggy liquified cucumber…

Joy. Ride.

About seventeen months ago, I stood in my garage looking up at my bike. It hung from the ceiling on a hook Ken had installed. His bike was hanging next to mine. A police officer had returned his bike at some point. My memory of the timing is fuzzy. Was it that night, that horrible…

Notifications from heaven?

I went to a group for widows a while back, and a woman shared that she was angry that her husband hadn't sent her any white feathers. Send? White feathers? She said each of their family members and mutual friends had received a white feather from her deceased husband, but she had never gotten one.…

Do Things

On New Year’s Eve, I thought about the many resolutions I’d made in the past either to do something extra or to give something up. I know, New Year’s Eve was almost four months ago, but time both slogs on and slips by, so here I am, still thinking about my New Year's resolution. In…

Tomorrow

All month I’ve been thinking about what I was doing a year ago. Today is especially sobering. Last year on this day, I had no idea what tomorrow would bring. I thought, like every day that came before it, that I knew what my tomorrow would look like. This life on earth is fragile, and…

I’m fine

I haven't been able to write. My whole life is so different, and one of the many ways it’s different is that words just don't seem to work anymore. I type words, read them, and delete them; this goes on and on because words don't mean what they used to. I'll sit down to write…

This Scream Can’t Escape

I used to drink a ton of coffee, but in January, for health reasons, I switched to herbal tea. One morning, about a week and a half after I’d stopped drinking coffee, he said he didn’t like drinking coffee without his coffee-drinking partner, so he, too, switched to herbal tea. He became a tea connoisseur.…

Saturday

Saturday marked one month after your death. It was appropriately sandwiched between Good Friday and Easter.  I feel like the rest of my life will be a Saturday between Good Friday and Easter.

Frustration. Defeat. Repeat.

So many things need to be decided. I wish you were here to help me. I need answers to questions I never dreamed I’d ask. You’d figure it all out if you were here. You’d make the calls if you were here.  If you were here… • I’m not sure if it’s the global pandemic…