As if…

Often in the last two years, someone will say something about a person dying or something related to an untimely death and then stop suddenly and apologize for saying THAT THING. It happened the day before yesterday and again yesterday. I think people apologize because they believe they might have triggered memories by using the…

The Second Year

In my new world, March 10th is known as The Last Good Day. On March 10th two years ago, I was living my best life. It was a Tuesday. Sammy and Tommy left early for their classes at UCCS, Ken went to work, and Madeline and I did our homeschool thing. Madeline had some online…

Something

Something struck me a few weeks ago. It was Ken’s birthday, a day that, in the past, I would have planned and prepared a delicious meal that would have made him feel special. A meal that I wouldn't normally make on a random Wednesday night. A meal that would be all about him. This is…

Joy. Ride.

About seventeen months ago, I stood in my garage looking up at my bike. It hung from the ceiling on a hook Ken had installed. His bike was hanging next to mine. A police officer had returned his bike at some point. My memory of the timing is fuzzy. Was it that night, that horrible…

Notifications from heaven?

I went to a group for widows a while back, and a woman shared that she was angry that her husband hadn't sent her any white feathers. Send? White feathers? She said each of their family members and mutual friends had received a white feather from her deceased husband, but she had never gotten one.…

Do Things

On New Year’s Eve, I thought about the many resolutions I’d made in the past either to do something extra or to give something up. I know, New Year’s Eve was almost four months ago, but time both slogs on and slips by, so here I am, still thinking about my New Year's resolution. In…

Tomorrow

All month I’ve been thinking about what I was doing a year ago. Today is especially sobering. Last year on this day, I had no idea what tomorrow would bring. I thought, like every day that came before it, that I knew what my tomorrow would look like. This life on earth is fragile, and…

I’m fine

I haven't been able to write. My whole life is so different, and one of the many ways it’s different is that words just don't seem to work anymore. I type words, read them, and delete them; this goes on and on because words don't mean what they used to. I'll sit down to write…

This Scream Can’t Escape

I used to drink a ton of coffee, but in January, for health reasons, I switched to herbal tea. One morning, about a week and a half after I’d stopped drinking coffee, he said he didn’t like drinking coffee without his coffee-drinking partner, so he, too, switched to herbal tea. He became a tea connoisseur.…