I’m overwhelmed by so much these days, mostly by how much I miss you. I can’t see an end to this sadness.
Honestly, I don’t even want an end to this feeling. It’s all I am capable of feeling right now, and thinking about feeling different in the future means looking into a future without you. Even thinking about not feeling sad someday, makes me sad.
If I think of tomorrow, the tears flow. If I think of yesterday the tears flow. If I smell your clothes, if I hear a song you liked, if people talk about you, if people don’t talk about you, if I allow my mind to be still, if it’s too loud in the house, if it’s too quiet in the house, if I see your bike, if I see your keys, your wallet, your phone, if I wake up in the night and realize you’re not in the bed with me, the tears flow.
Oh, God. The tears…